1. Use Google to search for your family, the name of your school and/or the name of your child. Typing the command at the address line name of person:www.name of website.com tells Google to search within the site. For instance, if I typed robinraskin:www.myspace.com I would be searching for my name on MySpace. It won’t work with 100% accuracy, but it can be a helpful tool.
2. Think about keeping a copy of your child’s login and password to his or her websites. You might also keep your own passwords in a place the family can access them if there’s an emergency. As we keep more and more information digitally, this is a good idea. In other words, treat passwords like you would a safe deposit box.
3. Read the privacy options on websites your children visit. Encourage (or insist) that they read these also. Both Facebook and Myspace have options which limit the number of other users who will have access to your children. Both sites also have information on how to remove personal profiles or block an unwanted visitor.
4. Talk to kids about not blogging “the details” of their lives – phone numbers, addresses, IM screen names, and where they go to school should be taboo subjects.
5. Teach kids to treat the use of photos carefully on their sites. In social blogs photos can be shared with the wrong people. Kids who post suggestive or lewd photos run the risk of being identified by the wrong people as well.
6. Parents should get themselves an IM account; create a Myspace login, and if you still have a .edu account, join Facebook as well. These websites are free to everyone and if your children know that you are there, they will change their behaviors and you will become more knowledgeable.
7. If someone is making inappropriate overtures towards your child, then you need to act with firmness and resolve. Often predators of all kinds will back off once they know a parent is present. Your children should also feel free to come to you to discuss Internet problems. Keep an open mind and listen carefully before you judge them. We all make mistakes and they will have their fair share, too.
8. Find teaching moments. As adults we get spam, phishing sites and other shady web overtures. When you get a dubious message or website use it as an opportunity to teach your kids. Call them over to the computer and point out that the person who sent you a note might not be real and together determine how to judge the situation.
9. Make sure they understand that grownups including admissions counselors, guidance counselors, teachers, and law enforcement officials know how to use social networks. If they would not say what they say online to this list of adults then they should not be saying it online at all.
10. Know the law. If your child defames another person, if they harass or if they make a situation unsafe (saying there’s a bomb in the school) then they are subject to the law and its penalties.
11. Know your school’s policies about acceptable use and ethical behavior. Many schools have rules about using the school’s addresses for non-academic pursuits. Kids have been expelled or suspended for acting inappropriately, even though they often think they are pulling a tiny prank.
12. Remember this—at some level these social networks make it easier to find out what your kids are doing because they are so public with their behaviors. Kids always act without thinking through the consequences. That’s why they’re kids and need parenting.
